Disclosure

If there’s one thing that has been ingrained in me from an active eleven year real estate career– it’s disclosure. We Realtors impress it upon our clients ad nauseam: Disclose, disclose, disclose.

Got a fogged vinyl window? Disclose it.

Roof leaked once ten years ago before you patched it? Disclose it.

Suspect your siding is of the Louisiana Pacific variety? Disclose it.

In this litigious day and age, honesty really IS the best policy. The last thing I would want is to be accused of misrepresentation.

It’s only natural that I would adopt a similar attitude in my everyday life. And sometimes, I even over-disclose.

For instance, during a recent conversation with one of my best friends, I told her of Handsome Hubs’ upcoming elective-but-necessary eye surgery. (Fourteen months of tactical night-vision goggle use followed by ten years of near constant computer glare is a surefire way to scorch your retinas, in my non-medical-professional opinion.) I then quickly detailed how we have been saving Husband’s FSA account for this very purpose, and that coupled with our insurance discount the hefty expense of the procedure should be completely covered. (We consider it a vital investment in our livelihood since he is now the sole breadwinner for our household and I suspect it would be difficult to be a successful software engineer if one was unable to see.) 

Handsome Hubs, right, w/night-vision atop helmet, Iraq 2003

Such over-disclosure seems par for the course, as many of my adoptive-mom-friends have reported sensing either perceived or blatant scrutiny from onlookers, specifically in regards to finances. We qualify every purchase that we make, over-disclosing and being certain to point out that something was gifted, thrifted, or on clearance. Someone recently complimented me on my stylish new handbag. I thanked them– then IMMEDIATELY made sure to mention that it was a handed-down gift from a thoughtful and generous friend, lest they make any rash assumptions about my priorities. Having previously called out my peers on being responsible stewards whilst funding an adoption, the last thing I would want is for someone to accuse me of similar misappropriation of finances. Of COURSE every spare penny we have is going to our adoption expenses.

Back to my convo w/my dear friend: She laughingly retorted that I need not provide her any explanation as to how we intend to pay for Husband’s procedure, that she would never think to question our financial stewardship or integrity. I was struck with gratitude for a friend who knows and trusts me without my excessive over-explanations. You see, we have history and trust between us. We’ve disclosed a lot in the years we’ve been friends.

Being in a new town has put me somewhat on edge in this regard, constantly fearful of being misread or misunderstood, over-explaining every statement and over-disclosing otherwise irrelevant details, hiding others. Does she get me? Was that annoying? Did I hurt her feelings? Perhaps I should clarify… Sometimes it’s just downright exhausting being The New Girl, cautiously revealing more and more of your self and your story. Being vulnerable with people you don’t really know if you can trust. Disclosure is risky.

So, allow me to disclose some more: We are mere weeks away from travelling to China to bring home our Little Man; in the home stretch. We are awaiting responses from several adoption grants that we are praying will assist us with the final expenses for our adoption. (Please pray with us for favor with these grants.) We are saving diligently from all avenues of our income. And Husband is having expensive, elective-but-necessary laser eye surgery. The tenant in our Oregon home is vacating right about the time that we are set to head to China. We are hoping to sell our house quickly there and avoid having double mortgage payments. Ultimately, though, we know that God will provide- as He always does- and that the REAL journey is just beginning.