Tonight we had our first post-placement (after adoption) visit with our social worker– which means that we have officially been a family of five for a month!
And did you catch that? That’s right– even after your child is safely home you, are still not free from official scrutiny/judgement in the form of Homestudy visits. It’s different with every country, but China requires a report from these visits at 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, 3 years, and 5 years post placement.
Other than our oldest informing the social worker that “Mommy told us to suck it up today.” and “Daddy made us watch Jaws the other night.” within five minutes of her arrival, it was pretty uneventful and pleasant.
She asked about China, about New Brother, about our transition into a family of five, and about our cocoon.
Speaking of our cocoon, please enjoy…
Cocooning Survival Tactic #3:
It’s not just for the kids.
Sure, you want to protect your child’s senses from over stimulation. Of course you want to ease their culture shock by broadening their new world at a calculated pace. You certainly want to foster genuine, healthy attachment. But guess what else? You’re exhausted. You need a break. You need the excuse to say “no”, to social demands. Use the cocoon.
In many ways, your journey has really just begun– and it is a marathon. Put your feet up, let the housework slide (yes, I just said that) and get yourself a magazine with an Americano on the side, for naptime. Showers? Totally optional. Your true friends will understand and still love you- and maybe even drop meals off into a cooler on your porch.
I joked with our social worker today that while one could have literally eaten off of any surface in our house for our initial Homestudy evaluation last year, this time ’round the best I could muster was a quick scrub of the toilets.
Bless her heart, she scheduled her visit for the worst. possible. time of the day: 5 – 7pm, dinnertime. We are still regularly receiving meals from generous friends who understand the challenge of every day dinner preparation, so cooking for her was out of the question. Solution? Costco pizza and salad. To drink? We have water!
I’m over it. As I mentioned previously, social workers are mere mortals, as well. We need not fear them.