4 Years a Montanan – a list of lessons learned

  • It is possible to drive in snow without succumbing to an anxiety attack.
  • There’s a right and wrong way to shovel snow, and I’m guilty of the latter.
  • Folks who don’t bother to shovel their sidewalks are jerks. (my bad)
  • In winter one can be like Jesus and walk on water.
  • Or even drive a vehicle atop it to ice-fish!
  • A dry -5′ below is downright pleasant compared to a damp 30′.
  • One can withstand subzero temps to feed chickens/shovel snow in shorts, a tank top, snow boots & a hat.
  • Grandpa was right– if your feet are cold put a hat on.
  • Mom’s famous chocolate chip cookies will burn if you fail to adjust her cooking time. #altitude
  • Speaking of altitude, it takes just 20 minutes to procure a sunburn.
  • Again on altitude, if accustomed to sea-level hikers will become embarrassingly winded here.
  • Rain is a blessing.
  • Not all jackets are created equal.
  • Moisturizer? Necessity.
  • Wet hair outdoors in winter? Never.
  • Snow tires? Requisite.
  • Bear spray? Advisable.
  • 100+ deer a day? #nbd.
  • An impromptu excursion to the next city requires 4 hrs driving. This is no problem.
  • Policemen agree: Cruising at 85mph down the freeway is both reasonable and prudent.
  • What an Oregonian calls hiking, Montanans consider a lazy stroll.
  • What Montanans call hiking, an Oregonian considers mountain climbing.
  • Gardening is hard.
  • There are more cows than people.
  • A bag of apples is more expensive than a pack of steaks.
  • Even an extrovert can survive weeks without socialization.
  • Crowds actually do kinda suck.
  • Oceans really are amazing.
  • At some point you’ll take for granted the spectacular views, but social media will remind you.

“In the mountains of Montana we forget to count the days.” -unknown

Being A Wordsmith


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