Our pilgrimage to our home state, for Little Man’s surgery, is this weekend. As it will be his first overnight stay away from home, we wanted to gently remind well-meaning loved ones of the Rules of Engagement for interacting with our precious son.
Please do not pick him up.
Though it will seem an impossibility, do not hug or kiss him.
Do not sit him on your lap and do not feed him. (Even if he begs.)
If he becomes upset, please resist swooping in and instead direct him to us, his parents.
While we are thrilled for the opportunity for loved ones to meet him, we simply would not be making such a visit this summer were it not for surgery. At only nine weeks home, we just aren’t “there yet”. The upset of familiar surroundings and routine, inevitable sensory overload, and the trauma of surgery/recovery will quite likely cause some set-backs for Little Man, during our time in Oregon.
It will be important for well-wishers to give him space and be flexible. In fact, if necessary, we won’t hesitate to call off all hospital visitors. Forgive us in advance if that indeed happens, and please know that we won’t arrive at such a decision unless warranted. Regardless of relation to our family, all but three Oregonians are yet strangers to him. As he encounters a barrage of new acquaintances, in new surroundings, it will be critical to remember to consider him a virtual Bubble Boy, as I affectionately referred to him in this post penned before bringing him home from China.
Lest you believe us to be overzealous and excessively protective, please know that this is standard protocol lauded by all of the leading adoption experts. Please reference these additional articles, written by adoptive moms:
How to Be The Village, Jen Hatmaker (see: “after the airport”)
He Has His Mommy’s Eyes, Every Bitter Thing is Sweet
Attachment Dance, An Incredible Journey Home
Now that I’ve laid down the law, let us end on a positive note. Please enjoy some complimentary summer adorable-ness…
2 comments On Cocooning in Oregon
Hi there, thanks for your comment and the excellent idea!!
Great post! I came over from the CCAI FB page. When my daughter came home from China I attached a Mama Bear Kind Sign to her stroller. It said ” Your germs are too big for me. Please don’t touch.” I gave my signs away to other adoptive parents but you can order one @ $7.95 from http://www.mamabears.com/ They also have a great door hanger. One side advises delivery men not to ring the doorbell unless a signature is needed – just leave package by the door. The other side asks guest not to ring the doorbell but knock lightly due to a sleeping baby. I could have used that one myself.
Just thought I would share. Good luck to you and your family. I’ll say a prayer for your little man.