Gift Guide for Schmucks



Already done with your Christmas shopping? Boast not.

No matter how early I start my shopping each year, I still have last minute gifts to purchase.

This is what it looks like when I shop. Mail-Lady Ruth now knows our entire household by name and drops our packages at our door instead of in the mailbox bank several blocks away. Hmm, should probably add her to the master gift list.

Ninja Turtle (Donatello??) straight fronting as I fill my Amazon shopping cart. His dad probably put him up to it, in hopes of keeping my spending in check.

Beats the mall in December, though. Know what I mean, Vern?*

Speaking of seasonal retail trauma, I made my reluctant biannual venture into THE WALMART last week, only to be reminded of why I generally avoid the mega-store like the plague. I made it all the way to the checkout line before snapping. Subsequent FB rant:

Privacy at the pin-pad, people! Teach your kids (and your stinkin’ selves) not to encroach at the checkout line. If I have to go-go-gadget my arm around your warm body to swipe MY debit card for MY groceries, I’m going to take that as an offer from YOU to pay for them.
PS- This is Montana, Home of the Introvert. We like our wide-open spaces– don’t tread on me!

Back to my handy last-minute holiday gift guide (contains some affiliate links):

Call me crazy, but every ginger cat needs a lion’s mane.

click pic for link

Garfield Gump was not overly enthused, but a good sport nonetheless.

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I recently got an Amazon delivery of white body paint for this Wednesday’s Bible Character Dressup Night at Awana… any guesses at who Firstborn is dressing up as?

Sad face: Our very favorite, cleverest punny plates are ceasing production forever.

Happy face: The remaining inventory is on mega-sale.


And speaking of a good pun, tea-loving Firstborn’s gonna flip for this darling loose-leaf manatee steeper. Is that what you call it, a steeper? Regardless, can you even handle it??


My folks shipped us a darling box of Oregon pears (our favorite!), because they love us and want us to care for them in their old age. I promptly swooned. Harry & David go together like peanut butter and jelly and are my new besties.

makes a lovely gift, click pic for link

Our Christmas cards arrived, courtesy of Minted. The girls are busy addressing all 150 of them now. #homeschoolwin Haven’t ordered yours yet? Freak not, my friends– they’re currently offering FREE RUSHED SHIIPPING and 15% on all orders, as New Years options for those who would rather embrace their procrastinating than fight it.

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Have you heard of Man Crates? Y’all. I can’t even. Off the charts GENIUS marketing & merchandising from this unapologetically dude-centric company. I dig it. Husband received one from his incredibly thoughtful like-minded pal this week, and he was positively giddy wrenching it open with the included crowbar.

seriously amazeballs

Doesn’t every homeschooled tween require a pair of hot pink lashes?

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More evidence that I’ve lost it, entirely (in case the lion mane on the cat didn’t convince you)… I was so excited about this book that I bought and hid it TWICE for Firstborn. For… the… love. We enjoy this line of biographies, and I was stoked to discover they had one featuring our very favorite oceanographer.

click pic for link

Isn’t it fun that everyone gets gifts on Jesus’ birthday?

*Earnest Saves Christmas is currently on Netflix. You’re welcome.


One response to “Gift Guide for Schmucks”

  1. […] Oh!! Did you catch the 3 ingredient recipe I shared for the easiest peanut butter cookies ever (gluten-free!)? I’m pretty sure they’ll be our official cookie of Christmas 2016. How about my holiday Gift Guide for Schmucks? […]

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